when you pretend you're a superhero

(driving into the new office's underground parking garage)

BH: "Dude, I love this new office. It's like you're driving into your own private cave."

New York New York

Sparky: where is the hotel?
MJ: Upper Left Side

how does LL feel?

(during his best man toast, talking about singing at his own wedding)

LC: "Not a day goes by that I don't look back on my wedding day and cringe."

heartfelt thanks

(NS to SS at the end of TC/JT's wedding banquet)

NS: "Thanks for everything you did! It was awesome! Umm, what did you do?"

obviousness, part trois

JW: "Do you know him?"
EuL: "Yeah, he was my junior high advisor when I was in junior high."

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(while praying)
MJ: "Thank you for letting us eat lunch in the middle of the day."

sounds like it's spelled

DVJ: "Do you know what luffa's are made out of?"
SS: "Sponges."
DVJ: "Nope. Grod. Wait, what is it called? G-O-U-R-D"
SC: "Gourd?"

yup, those will get you pregnant

(after MJ finds out that fraternal twins are genetic and identical twins are not)

MJ: "Man, I wanted to marry someone with identical twins in their family so I could have twins! Now I can't!"
DVJ: "You still can. Just take fraternity drugs."

how to force gender identity on others

DVJ: "Men are better at directions, but women are better at remembering landmarks."
SS: "But I'm good at directions."
DVJ: "YOU'RE A MAN!"

how high is high?

DVJ: "I have a high IQ."
MJ (trying to test DVJ): "What does IQ stand for?"
DVJ: "Intelligence quota."