"I feel like..."

Internet Crimefighter

Kay: do you work with daddy?
BM: yes, we fight crime on the internet all day long.
Kay: why do you fight?
BM: ...

They're real to me...

Talking about seeing an old classmate at dinner and the possibility of playing a trick on her and then saying that "MJ put me up to it!"

MJ:  She wouldn't know my by MJ!  I go by EK at school and work.

TC:  Except for the guy at work who calls you Legolas...

(background story explained... then from nowhere...)

NS:  Wait, Legolas went to Yale?

(everyone looks at NS...)

NS:  Hey... but... Natalie Portman went to Harvard...

Someone:  But Natalie Portman is a real person.

Greetings... or not...

Random IM at night:

MJ:  hey!

MJ:  it's good to see u online again!!

MJ:  oh crap

MJ:  i double clicked TC instead of RY

MJ:  hahahah sorry

TC:  thanks

MJ:  good to see u too!

the best anti-theft system

(walking through the parking garage, on the way to lunch)

HW: What the heck! This guy parked so close to my car!
(goes over to see if the car hit his car)
HW: There's barely an inch! What the crap!
BH: Did he hit your car?
HW: I dunno, I can't tell.
(BH walks around to the front)
BH: This guy left his window down! You wanna do something? Oh, but be careful, what if you stick your hand in and a poisonous snake bites you?
(uses his hands to demonstrate how a snake might bite a hand reaching into the car)

(at this point everyone turns and looks at BH)
BH: Dude, that's what I would do as a test. Who in their right mind would leave their window down?
JW: Who in their right mind would keep a poisonous snake in their car?!

2 Year Anniversay ...

Happy 2 year Birthday unofficial Exoblog!!!

What? I didn't hear your question

(response to BH's story of how he couldn't hear out of one ear and had to goto the doctor)

NS: "Wait, how did you know you couldn't hear?"

What does what?!

NS: "All I know is that something does something"

Come again?!!!

NS: "No, no! Keeping singing what you're singing while I'm singing!!!"

just add water

BH: "If we went through traffic, it would take 3 or 4 hours to get to Riverside!"
HW: "Someone needs to invent the teleporter. Ben, do it."
BH: "Nah, that's humanly impossible. They would need to break down cells and stuff. You just need to make a really fast boat."

what can purple do for you?

BH: "Can I go to a UPS store to Fedex something?"

Computer games ...

BM: "I’ve blown up things like a million times! … but after blowing up things with (insert geeky word) and then blowing up stuff with (insert geeky word) , it’s like … just blowing stuff up.

It’s not as much fun as it used to be."

Feelin' hot hot hot

When ordering at Thai Paradise, you can choose how spicy you want your dishes on a scale of 1 to 10.

Thai Lady: What would you like to order?
RY: Roasted Duck Salad
Thai Lady: How spicy?
RY: 10
Thai Lady: 10?! Are you sure?
RY: Yes
Thai Lady: ooohh, you gonna burn....

1. pull out cigarette 2. light 3. smoke

TH is a coworker.

TH: "Have you ever smoked?"
BH: "No. Have you?"
TH: "Yeah."
JW: "Like you smoked for a long time and then quit?"
TH: "No, I just tried it once or twice."
BH: "What, you couldn't get it to work or something?"

Duped (again) by a (very smart) 3 year old...

[what happens when you pretend your housemate's rabbit is yours]

BM: Where's your rabbit?
Kay: Not yet! Not until I'm BIG! *throws arms up*
BM: I have a rabbit.
Kay: Uncle SAM has a rabbit!
BM: Uhh...

why fasting isn't more popular

JC: "Meals aren't as fun without the food."

you might be from LA if...

(driving through KC and looking at the trees with no leaves)

BH: Why are all these trees burned?